I’m not saying our hotel is unique, but we’ve certainly never come across anything like it. As well as accommodation, the premises offer a clay pigeon shooting range and a go-kart track. It seems an unlikely combination aimed at a very specific clientele. There’s not a sign of any other building for miles around; even the closest pub is a 15-minute drive, which may well be an English record. For a modern business hotel, it could hardly be less well situated. Even so, we struggle to get a room, partly because we’re in Dorset in the high season and there are no rooms available at anything like a reasonable price anywhere else in the county, but also – and I like to think this is the clincher – because a Take That tribute band is playing here the following night.
We’re not looking for fake Robbie Williamses, we’re just glad to have secured somewhere that is clean, spacious and well appointed. After the day we’ve had, we need a lie down.
It starts in the gently peeling seaside resort of Worthing, chosen entirely for reasons related to Oscar Wilde. But soon we are on the road: next stop, Chichester Cathedral.
More than anywhere on our trip, Chichester Cathedral feels like a modern, relevant church in touch with the community. Which is not to say there’s a lack of awe. It is, after all, a bloody great stone structure built in the 11th century; one of the stained glass windows was designed by Chagall; and there’s an astonishing tapestry that was commissioned in the 1980s.
But there’s also a kids’ school holiday activity going on in a room next to where the cathedral keeps its treasures; and at one point a fully cassocked man takes to the pulpit and addresses the visitors. He explains that he is about to pray, and that he’d like us all to share in it. If we are not believers, he says, just pause for a minute to reflect: on family or friends, or perhaps upon the everyday things for which we should give thanks but never do. As the prayer echoes through the building, I wonder what, as a non-believer, I’m missing out on. It’s moving enough for an agnostic; I can’t imagine what it must be like for Christians.
Our next stop, Salisbury Cathedral, is more austere, a sombre place, less homely than Chichester. That’s fitting, because it houses an original copy of the Magna Carta, the founding legal document of Britain, and therefore the founding legal document of most English-speaking countries, including ours. It’s the reason we and dozens of others are in Salisbury. The Magna Carta is short – just a single, one-sided sheet of paper – and housed in a locked, darkened cabinet. It’s almost disappointing to discover it doesn’t glow, illuminated by its own importance, but it’s a privilege to see it none the less.
By now it’s getting on for 4:30pm and we’re tired after a long day on the road. We’re about 90 minutes from Stonehenge and at this point it feels too much of a hike. It’s only a bunch of stones (the giveaway is in the name), and we’ve seen numerous pictures of it. Here’s a tip: even if you’re tired, whether or not you’ve seen numerous pictures, heck, even if there’s a Take That tribute band awaiting you, you have to visit Stonehenge.
During our trip, people told us you can no longer get anywhere near the stone circle. Not so. It’s true that a rope fence means that these days you can’t walk among the stones or touch them, but you’re never more than about 10 metres away. In an era of selfie sticks, and on a holiday we’ve often had to experience through other people’s iPad screens, it’s a relief to have some breathing space. Which is just as well, because Stonehenge takes that breath away. We get lucky with the weather (is it luck or something else? Stonehenge makes you contemplate the alternatives), and a shaft of sunlight pierces the threatening clouds, illuminating the stones in a ridiculously cinematic way. If I’d seen it in a movie I’d have scornfully dismissed such cliched Hollywood scripting. As it is, I’ll never forget it.
RICHARD
STRAY OBSERVATIONS
- Magna Carta turns 800 in 2015. Happy birthday!
- Britpop-era CDs flood charity shops, which is great if you’re looking for driving music
- Catatonia’s International Velvet is much better than you remembered; Blur’s 13 much worse
- Just how much cocaine went into the making of The Stone Roses’ Second Coming?
- We didn’t watch the Take That tribute band
Kiwis on Tour 